{"id":11471,"date":"2025-01-28T17:23:23","date_gmt":"2025-01-28T17:23:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/?p=11471"},"modified":"2025-01-28T17:44:06","modified_gmt":"2025-01-28T17:44:06","slug":"if-looks-could-kill","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/if-looks-could-kill\/","title":{"rendered":"If Looks Could Kill"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

If Looks Could Kill<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Years ago, I remember upsetting my brother. Now, that wasn\u2019t so memorable, because I was the annoying kid brother and he was the annoyed big brother. It was a common occurrence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t remember what led to the kerfuffle but I do remember that my mother broke up whatever it was, and my brother gave me a dirty look. I mean, it was probably laced with contempt and ire, and many of you with siblings can relate. That\u2019s where the memorable part came in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My mother said, \u201cBoy, if looks could kill\u2026\u201d to which my brother laughed and finished the sentence, saying, \u201c\u2026 I\u2019d be a murderer.\u201d It was a funny line and I give him credit for that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The thing is that it\u2019s not really a joke. Doesn\u2019t Abaye<\/a> say that 99% of people die from Ayin Hara <\/em>(the evil eye)? That means that looks CAN kill, and they often do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Power of the Evil Eye<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t know how that works, but there are some explanations about how jealousy<\/a> and Ayin Hara work by summoning us, and the person we\u2019re jealous of, to judgment in Heaven. Not a good thing, to walk into a police station when you\u2019ve committed a crime and they\u2019re looking for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Social Dynamics and Their Impact<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Extrapolating on that idea, though, there are multiple ways that looks can kill. Imagine someone walks into a simchah<\/em> (joyous occasion celebration). She\u2019s so happy to be there (likely it\u2019s a woman because most guys are happy when they DON\u2019T get invited to simchot<\/em>) but as she enters, she meets eyes with some other women. Their faces fall as they see her, and the disdain and dislike are obvious. The new arrival wishes she was dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone comes up with an idea that you think is ridiculous, but they\u2019re very proud of, if you don\u2019t control your reaction, you very well could \u201cspill blood\u201d by embarrassing them, plus you will keep them from making suggestions in the future, thereby stifling and suffocating their creativity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Choosing How to See Things<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

How else can we explain looks? How we judge the things we see. For example, I remember once when a teenager was leading the davening. He was nervous and flustered and misspoke, saying the wrong word.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I felt for him, especially since it once happened to me and I was so embarrassed I didn\u2019t lead the davening for years afterwards. Someone else commented, \u201cHe\u2019s changing the matbea <\/em>(format) of tefillah<\/em> (prayer)!\u201d and implied the guy deserved the death penalty or something. That\u2019s horrible. Why would you be so negative when you see something you could see differently?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Contagion of Negativity<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Choosing to be negative, and seeing things in a bad light, can not only suck the life out of everything but cause serious harm. The negativity is contagious, and can cause other people to become negative as well. When Pharaoh finally agreed to free the Jews after ten horrific plagues, he changed his mind and chased after them because someone said they \u201cran away.\u201d That didn\u2019t end well for the Egyptians. How ridiculous, but also enlightening. How you phrase things, based on your perspective, will affect how they are perceived by others. You have tremendous power, and should be careful how you wield it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Looks Can Give Life<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

And there\u2019s a fantastic corollary that you ought to know. The Gemara (Talmud) in Sanhedrin says Adam was created as the solitary being in the world to teach us that one who takes a life is as if he destroyed the entire world. Conversely, one who saves a life is as if he saved an entire world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Following this logic, you can infer that just as looks can kill, looks can save lives! Or GIVE life!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Power of Positive Perception<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s right. You can change the course of history for the better with how you look, in any of the ways we\u2019ve described it. When you look positively at a circumstance, or when you brighten and perk up when you see someone, you are giving life. To yourself, to others, and to the whole vibe of the world. When you don\u2019t look at others with jealousy, but find a way to be happy for them, you\u2019re avoiding being dragged for judgment by a Heavenly court, and you\u2019ll be saving your own life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jealousy steals the joy from your existence and you\u2019re doing it to yourself. The important thing to remember is that your eyes take things in, and send those signals to your brain for interpretation, which is how you \u201csee\u201d things. That means you can decide and choose what you see. Take the time to think and reflect on it, and if you\u2019re fortunate, you\u2019ll see the world in a whole new light.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
Want to learn more about Jewish philosophy and ethics? Join TorahMates today to learn Torah from home, with your own study partner!<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

By Rabbi Jonathan Gewirtz<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rabbi Gewirtz (Operation Inspiration<\/a>) welcomes comments and feedback. Write to him at info@JewishSpeechWriter.com<\/a> to share your thoughts. You never know when you may be the lamp that enlightens someone else.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If Looks Could Kill Years ago, I remember upsetting my brother. Now, that wasn\u2019t so memorable, because I was the annoying kid brother and he was the annoyed big brother. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":11480,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sfsi_plus_gutenberg_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_show_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_type":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_alignemt":"","sfsi_plus_gutenburg_max_per_row":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[702,8],"tags":[756],"class_list":["post-11471","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jewish-philosophy","category-judaism-101","tag-jewish-thought"],"yoast_head":"\nIf Looks Could Kill - Jewish Resources<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If looks could kill, they can also save lives. 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