{"id":13660,"date":"2025-09-26T17:55:06","date_gmt":"2025-09-26T17:55:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/?p=13660"},"modified":"2025-10-24T14:45:52","modified_gmt":"2025-10-24T14:45:52","slug":"dealing-with-peer-pressure","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/dealing-with-peer-pressure\/","title":{"rendered":"Dealing With Peer Pressure"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Ask the Rabbi with Rabbi Chaim Mintz:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>My children often complain that they don\u2019t have what \u201call\u201d their friends or neighbors have. Whether they want the latest gadget or the another vacation \u2014 things I feel are not appropriate or not affordable for us. What can I do to help my children and the adults, deal with this peer pressure?<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><strong>Rabbi Chaim Mintz responds:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Common Problem<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>It is important to realize that, in the world we live in, this is quite a common phenomenon, and parents deal with this all the time. The first thing you must know is that, more often than not, it is not really true that all \u2014 or even most of \u2014 the friends and neighbors have it. It\u2019s just that the hype created by the few who do have it creates the illusion or the feeling that everyone has it. But even if others do really have something that your child doesn\u2019t, you can still emphasize the positive. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Show your children all the good things they do have in life and all the nice places they do go. Although \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/jealousy-in-the-torah-2-tracing-its-dangers\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">the grass is always greener on the other side<\/a>,\u201d it is quite possible that, in many ways, your children are the ones who have a better life. And, if necessary, you can compensate for their \u201clack\u201d with other items or trips that do fit your budget and lifestyle. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">The Torah Mindset<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>If your children are a little older, you should share with them the Torah-true perspective, and help them appreciate that there is no reason to gauge their needs based on what others have. They should be taught to appreciate that whatever they have or don\u2019t have is orchestrated from Heaven specifically for them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We see this concept clearly in the blessing we recite every morning, \u201cshe\u2019asah li kol tzarki,\u201d thanking Hashem for providing us with all our needs. At first glance, one may wonder about this blessing. If you would ask a group of people if they have all their needs, such as money, clothing, and a nice house, many will respond that they don\u2019t. If that is the case, how can they honestly recite this blessing daily? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Our Unique Mission <\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>The answer is that each person has an individual mission in this world, and Hashem provides him with precisely what he needs to accomplish it, no more and no less. Therefore, if someone lacks certain things, it\u2019s because this is precisely the situation he needs to be in to accomplish his task. This blessing is a daily opportunity to reinforce this truth and ingrain this concept in our psyche. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is also the explanation given for the mitzvah of \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/jealousy-in-the-torah-understanding-the-mitzvah\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">lo sachmod <\/a>\u2014 do not desire what others have.\u201d When a person lives with the reality that everything is specifically earmarked for each individual, he will realize that what others have will not benefit him at all, and the desire to have what others have will dissipate. Armed with the clarity that whatever one has\u2014 or doesn\u2019t have \u2014 is Divinely customized for his individualized mission, a person will find it much easier to be happy with his lot, with no need for what others have.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">In Short:<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Show your children all the good things they have, and if necessary compensate with other, affordable things. You can teach the older ones that each person has exactly what Hashem has given them and what others have will not benefit them. This will help them to live their lives content with what they have.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-layout-flex wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button aligncenter tm-cta\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/sign-up.php\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Learn more about character traits with a TorahMate!<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Have another question to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.oorah.org\/asktherabbi\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">ask a rabbi<\/a>? You can ask Rabbi Mintz your own question at&nbsp;<a href=\"mailto:asktherabbi@oorah.org\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">asktherabbi@oorah.org<\/a>, or head to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.oorah.org\/asktherabbi\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">oorah.org\/asktherabbi\/<\/a> to watch the latest Q&amp;As or join&nbsp;Ask the Rabbi Live, Tuesdays at 9PM ET.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ask the Rabbi with Rabbi Chaim Mintz: My children often complain that they don\u2019t have what \u201call\u201d their friends or neighbors have. Whether they want the latest gadget or the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":13665,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sfsi_plus_gutenberg_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_show_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_type":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_alignemt":"","sfsi_plus_gutenburg_max_per_row":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[598,35,702,8,701],"tags":[252],"class_list":["post-13660","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ask-the-rabbi","category-guides","category-jewish-philosophy","category-judaism-101","category-mitzvot","tag-ask-the-rabbi"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Dealing With Peer Pressure - Jewish Resources<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Jealousy and peer pressure are intertwined. Learn how to properly deal with feelings of peer pressure.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/dealing-with-peer-pressure\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dealing With Peer Pressure - Jewish Resources\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Jealousy and peer pressure are intertwined. Learn how to properly deal with feelings of peer pressure.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/dealing-with-peer-pressure\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Jewish Resources\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/torahmates\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2025-09-26T17:55:06+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-10-24T14:45:52+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/Whisk_d38c1fea7e688399dec4a3e038473ebcdr.jpeg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1408\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"768\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"TorahMates\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@oorah\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@oorah\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"TorahMates\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/dealing-with-peer-pressure\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/dealing-with-peer-pressure\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"TorahMates\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/#\/schema\/person\/df1cd798c41777159e9fee85cb392ef9\"},\"headline\":\"Dealing With Peer Pressure\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-09-26T17:55:06+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-10-24T14:45:52+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/dealing-with-peer-pressure\/\"},\"wordCount\":647,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/#organization\"},\"keywords\":[\"ask the rabbi\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Ask the Rabbi\",\"Guides\",\"Jewish Philosophy\",\"Judaism 101\",\"Mitzvot\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/dealing-with-peer-pressure\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/dealing-with-peer-pressure\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/dealing-with-peer-pressure\/\",\"name\":\"Dealing With Peer Pressure - Jewish Resources\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2025-09-26T17:55:06+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-10-24T14:45:52+00:00\",\"description\":\"Jealousy and peer pressure are intertwined. Learn how to properly deal with feelings of peer pressure.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/dealing-with-peer-pressure\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/dealing-with-peer-pressure\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/dealing-with-peer-pressure\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Dealing With Peer Pressure\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/\",\"name\":\"JEWISH RESOURCES by Oorah's TorahMates\",\"description\":\"brought to you by Oorah&#039;s TorahMates\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/#organization\",\"name\":\"TorahMates\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/tm.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/tm.jpg\",\"width\":921,\"height\":824,\"caption\":\"TorahMates\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/torahmates\",\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/oorah\",\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/torahmates\/\",\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/company\/oorah-inc?original_referer=https:\/\/www.oorah.org\/\",\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/oorah\/\",\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/user\/OorahKR\",\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Oorah_(organization)\"]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/#\/schema\/person\/df1cd798c41777159e9fee85cb392ef9\",\"name\":\"TorahMates\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/26e85981eb7a7ffe0e513841f5d6b26a09f4f1ab01d3eff73b79b111f5b3a80c?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/26e85981eb7a7ffe0e513841f5d6b26a09f4f1ab01d3eff73b79b111f5b3a80c?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"TorahMates\"}}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Dealing With Peer Pressure - Jewish Resources","description":"Jealousy and peer pressure are intertwined. Learn how to properly deal with feelings of peer pressure.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/dealing-with-peer-pressure\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Dealing With Peer Pressure - Jewish Resources","og_description":"Jealousy and peer pressure are intertwined. Learn how to properly deal with feelings of peer pressure.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/dealing-with-peer-pressure\/","og_site_name":"Jewish Resources","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/torahmates","article_published_time":"2025-09-26T17:55:06+00:00","article_modified_time":"2025-10-24T14:45:52+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1408,"height":768,"url":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/Whisk_d38c1fea7e688399dec4a3e038473ebcdr.jpeg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"TorahMates","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@oorah","twitter_site":"@oorah","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"TorahMates","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/dealing-with-peer-pressure\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/dealing-with-peer-pressure\/"},"author":{"name":"TorahMates","@id":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/#\/schema\/person\/df1cd798c41777159e9fee85cb392ef9"},"headline":"Dealing With Peer Pressure","datePublished":"2025-09-26T17:55:06+00:00","dateModified":"2025-10-24T14:45:52+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/dealing-with-peer-pressure\/"},"wordCount":647,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/#organization"},"keywords":["ask the rabbi"],"articleSection":["Ask the Rabbi","Guides","Jewish Philosophy","Judaism 101","Mitzvot"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/dealing-with-peer-pressure\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/dealing-with-peer-pressure\/","url":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/dealing-with-peer-pressure\/","name":"Dealing With Peer Pressure - Jewish Resources","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/#website"},"datePublished":"2025-09-26T17:55:06+00:00","dateModified":"2025-10-24T14:45:52+00:00","description":"Jealousy and peer pressure are intertwined. Learn how to properly deal with feelings of peer pressure.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/dealing-with-peer-pressure\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/dealing-with-peer-pressure\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/dealing-with-peer-pressure\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Dealing With Peer Pressure"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/","name":"JEWISH RESOURCES by Oorah's TorahMates","description":"brought to you by Oorah&#039;s TorahMates","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/#organization","name":"TorahMates","url":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/tm.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/tm.jpg","width":921,"height":824,"caption":"TorahMates"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/torahmates","https:\/\/twitter.com\/oorah","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/torahmates\/","https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/company\/oorah-inc?original_referer=https:\/\/www.oorah.org\/","https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/oorah\/","https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/user\/OorahKR","https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Oorah_(organization)"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/#\/schema\/person\/df1cd798c41777159e9fee85cb392ef9","name":"TorahMates","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/26e85981eb7a7ffe0e513841f5d6b26a09f4f1ab01d3eff73b79b111f5b3a80c?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/26e85981eb7a7ffe0e513841f5d6b26a09f4f1ab01d3eff73b79b111f5b3a80c?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"TorahMates"}}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13660","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13660"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13660\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13881,"href":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13660\/revisions\/13881"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13665"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13660"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13660"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13660"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}