{"id":14585,"date":"2025-12-11T17:35:26","date_gmt":"2025-12-11T17:35:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/?p=14585"},"modified":"2025-12-11T17:38:27","modified_gmt":"2025-12-11T17:38:27","slug":"best-way-to-overcome-fear","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/best-way-to-overcome-fear\/","title":{"rendered":"Best Way To Overcome Fear"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

In Mishlei<\/a>, King Solomon tells us, \u201cDaaga b\u2019lev ish, yashchena;\u201d If a person has worry in his heart, he should quash it. The Gemara1<\/sup> teaches that R\u2019 Ami and R\u2019 Asi offered different explanations on this. One said, \u201cHe should forcefully push it from his mind,\u201d and the other said, \u201cHe should tell it to others.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Presumably, the other person will offer him comforting words and thereby reduce his anxiety. As far as the first approach, I think it would be hard to do, but if one distracts himself with Torah, the end of the pasuk relates, it will enable him to transform the worry to happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Could This Really Help With My Fear?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Recently though, I saw something on the internet that would help explain this, but which I was skeptical of. It said a trick used by people in high-stress professions, like surgeons and special forces operatives, is to verbalize and articulate the anxious thoughts from their minds. For example, saying out loud, \u201cI am fearful but continuing on,\u201d does more for your body than merely thinking those thoughts. Articulation activates the left hemisphere of your brain, the same region that keeps your amygdala \u2013 your fear center<\/a> \u2013 under control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wasn\u2019t sure whether to believe this or not, so I asked a professional therapist, who told me this is absolutely a technique he uses with his clients to combat anxiety. I was pretty impressed that something online was legitimate, and I started to think about the concept.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Speak Your Heart<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If this is so, that speaking the words you\u2019re thinking in your heart can help calm you, then both those opinions in the Gemara make perfect sense. One on hand, speaking to others means you have to articulate your feelings, thereby already calming yourself. Merely telling your problems or worries to someone is helpful, regardless of what they respond. Unless of course, they aren\u2019t sympathetic, in which case you might feel worse, but choose your listener wisely and you\u2019ll be fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to the other opinion, now, perhaps we can suggest that the way you \u201cpush it out of your heart,\u201d is to not keep it inside, but rather to verbalize it and literally think it out loud. It\u2019s amazing how insightful Chazal are and how they were able to provide this deep psychological and physiological understanding!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It also made me realize something else; something very personal to me. A major turning point in my personal bitachon <\/em>(faith in God) growth was a lecture I heard from R\u2019 Bentzion Bamberger Shlit\u201da. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Talk It Out With Him<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

He quoted the Chazon Ish that a person should speak to Hashem. When you\u2019re going to buy a pair of shoes, say, \u201cHashem, please help me find a pair that is comfortable and supportive, that looks nice, and that is a good price.\u201d By including Hashem in your speech, you come closer to Him (much as we find by Yosef in Egypt, where the name of Hashem was frequently in his mouth.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I started doing this, I found my faith was strengthened, and I worried less. Would I get a parking space on the busy street? I asked Hashem, and put it out of my mind. Now it was His problem. Would my interview go well? I asked Hashem to put the right words in my mouth, and now I just have to wait and see. The anxiety melted away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, we can understand why this works. It\u2019s because in speaking to Hashem – actually verbalizing instead of just thinking it – we are activating the calm and fear-reducing parts of our brains and literally quashing the worry. The Chazon Ish\u2019s advice works on actual medical knowledge of how people are made, and enables us to be more confident and avoid worry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He Always Listens<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Some will say that the conversations with Hashem, then, are merely a nice fa\u00e7ade for the REAL reason we\u2019re calmer, being that our left hemisphere is excited by the expressed speech. And those people are missing the boat. Yes, speaking to yourself calms you physically. But why is that? Why does our physiology contain this quirk that we can quash our worries merely by talking them out?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To me, it\u2019s clear the intent is for us to not just speak things out to ourselves, but to share them with our greatest friend, Hashem. He loves us more than anyone else in the world; always has and always will. He wants us to talk to Him, and to feel we can turn to Him at any time and any place. This closeness is why He created us this way. Hashem is giving us the incentive to reach out and connect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Science can tell you how things work, and why the people who use this \u201ctrick\u201d feel better. But what we, who look at the world as something created from the blueprint of Torah, know is that there\u2019s no trick involved, and we can understand WHY it\u2019s better to talk things out. It\u2019s to get us into conversation with Hashem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s The Best Way<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In the words of R\u2019 Yitzchok Hutner z\u201dl, \u201cPrayer<\/a> isn\u2019t to get you out of trouble. Trouble is to get you into prayer.\u201d Please, don\u2019t just think about what you\u2019ve just read. Share it with others; discuss it. You\u2019ve got no idea how much more powerful it is to think things out loud.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
Learn about the power in talking to Hashem with a TorahMate. Sign up for a study partner today!<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

By Rabbi Jonathan Gewirtz<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

2025 \u2013 All Rights Reserved<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Did you enjoy this column? Feedback is welcome and appreciated. E-mail info@JewishSpeechWriter.com<\/a> to share your thoughts. You never know when you may be the lamp that enlightens someone else.<\/em><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sources:
1<\/sup> Yoma, Sanhedrin, and Sota<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In Mishlei, King Solomon tells us, \u201cDaaga b\u2019lev ish, yashchena;\u201d If a person has worry in his heart, he should quash it. 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