{"id":14659,"date":"2025-12-17T16:35:39","date_gmt":"2025-12-17T16:35:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/?p=14659"},"modified":"2025-12-17T16:35:40","modified_gmt":"2025-12-17T16:35:40","slug":"how-to-tell-your-children-that-you-cant-afford-things","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/how-to-tell-your-children-that-you-cant-afford-things\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Tell Your Children That You Can&#8217;t Afford Things"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Ask the Rabbi with Rabbi Chaim Mintz<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">What should parents do when they\u00a0can\u2019t\u00a0afford the luxuries their children see others enjoying\u2014whether because\u00a0they\u2019ve\u00a0chosen a spiritually meaningful career, like\u00a0studying and\u00a0teaching Torah, instead of one that pays more, or because they simply have a modest job?\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><strong>Rabbi Chaim Mintz responds<\/strong>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">A person who works in\u00a0<em>klei\u00a0kodesh<\/em> (work in religious field)\u2014whether he is\u00a0studying\u00a0Torah full-time or teaching and serving the community, must fill his home with pride for what he does. He and his family live comfortably, even if not extravagantly, and they have what they need. Yes, he could have\u00a0chosen\u00a0a higher-paying\u00a0career path\u00a0and lived with more luxury. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">But he chose something far greater: to study and spread Torah and make a real difference in people\u2019s lives. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Money Cant Buy It<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">That choice gives them something no money can buy, closeness to Hashem\u00a0in this world and the next. It is important that the family understands that whatever spiritual greatness the father\u00a0attains\u00a0as head of the household elevates the entire home, so they\u00a0share in\u00a0this closeness to Hashem as well. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">When that pride fills the home, the children\u00a0won\u2019t\u00a0feel\u00a0they\u2019re\u00a0missing out when\u00a0they see\u00a0others\u00a0with\u00a0fancier things;\u00a0they\u2019ll\u00a0know they\u00a0possess\u00a0something far richer.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">This Is For Everyone<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Someone who has a regular job that provides a modest salary must still instill the proper values and ideals in the home. Life is not about money;\u00a0it\u2019s\u00a0about serving <em>Hashem<\/em> (God) and keeping\u00a0<em>mitzvot.<\/em> Their lives are full of richness:\u00a0<em>Shabb<\/em>at, learning Torah, and acts of kindness. These are the things that make life meaningful and give it real significance.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">It\u2019s\u00a0also important to teach the right attitude toward happiness. What is true happiness? Driving the latest model car or wearing the newest fashion in clothing\u00a0doesn\u2019t\u00a0make someone\u00a0truly happy. That kind of satisfaction is fleeting and artificial, who knows if there is true happiness in that home? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Home Is Where The Heart Is<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">In contrast, a home that is warm, loving, and stable, where\u00a0people get along and live with Torah values, brings far more lasting happiness than any\u00a0new furniture\u00a0or luxury item ever could.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">The key for parents is to focus on and bring out the richness that already exists in the home, while actively downplaying the superficial values\u00a0that\u00a0Western culture promotes. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">A new piece of furniture or a trendy item might feel exciting for a few days, and then what are you left with? If the home emphasizes the things that truly matter: warmth, stability, and a life of Torah and\u00a0<em>mitzvot<\/em>, and makes it clear that material luxury is not important, your children\u00a0won\u2019t\u00a0feel like\u00a0they\u2019re\u00a0losing out. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">They will feel pride and recognize the richness of what they already have.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"has-medium-font-size wp-block-heading\">In Short:<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Parents\u00a0in\u00a0<em>klei\u00a0kodesh\u00a0<\/em>should convey to their children pride in choosing something far more valuable than money\u2014a life dedicated to\u00a0Torah and the closeness it brings to Hashem. Parents with regular jobs should show their children what truly\u00a0matters\u2014Torah and\u00a0mitzvot\u2014and that real happiness comes from a home filled with warmth, love, stability, and Torah values, rather than hollow material things.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-layout-flex wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button aligncenter tm-cta\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/sign-up.php\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Learn more about the real beauties of life with a study partner. Sign up to TorahMates today!<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><em>Written by Rabbi Aaron Shapiro<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Have another question to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.oorah.org\/asktherabbi\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">ask a rabbi<\/a>? You can ask Rabbi Mintz your own question by joining&nbsp;Ask the Rabbi Live on Tuesdays at 9PM ET. You can also submit your questions to&nbsp;<a href=\"mailto:asktherabbi@oorah.org\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">asktherabbi@oorah.org<\/a>, or head to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.oorah.org\/asktherabbi\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">oorah.org\/asktherabbi\/<\/a> to watch the latest Q&amp;As.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ask the Rabbi with Rabbi Chaim Mintz What should parents do when they\u00a0can\u2019t\u00a0afford the luxuries their children see others enjoying\u2014whether because\u00a0they\u2019ve\u00a0chosen a spiritually meaningful career, like\u00a0studying and\u00a0teaching Torah, instead of [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":14661,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sfsi_plus_gutenberg_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_show_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_type":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_alignemt":"","sfsi_plus_gutenburg_max_per_row":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[598,761,702,8],"tags":[252],"class_list":["post-14659","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ask-the-rabbi","category-jewish-faith","category-jewish-philosophy","category-judaism-101","tag-ask-the-rabbi"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How To Tell Your Children That You Can&#039;t Afford Things - Jewish Resources<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Learn how to tell your children you cant afford things. 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