{"id":3185,"date":"2019-09-12T10:20:19","date_gmt":"2019-09-12T10:20:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/18.191.22.100\/?p=192"},"modified":"2024-09-09T19:31:37","modified_gmt":"2024-09-09T19:31:37","slug":"jewish-jokes-of-the-week-parshas-ki-teitzei","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/jewish-jokes-of-the-week-parshas-ki-teitzei\/","title":{"rendered":"Jewish Jokes of the Week: Parshat Ki Teitzei"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>1. I once overheard a man telling over the following true story: He was driving in some hick town and was pulled over by a cop for speeding. This police officer had never seen a Jew before and became very suspicious of his <em>tzitzis<\/em>. All he saw were some long strings sticking out of his pants and he was worried that they were the wires of a bomb. Telling over the story, the man said, &#8220;Can you guys imagine- the cop thought that I was a terrorist&#8230;&#8221;<br>I couldn&#8217;t control myself and interrupted him, &#8220;Not only that, but he probably suspected you of belonging to a FRINGE GROUP!&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>2. According to the Kabbalah, we are supposed to have 13 knots on our <em>tzitzis.<\/em> But we have a problem: how do we count <strong>exactly<\/strong> 13 knots without making an <em>ayin hora<\/em> (evil eye)? My suggestion is to count them like this: Knot one, knot two, knot three&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(If you don&#8217;t find this joke funny, you may be missing a little contextual background. <a href=\"http:\/\/www.torah.org\/learning\/perceptions\/5758\/kisisa.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">This article<\/a>, on ayin hara and the prohibition of counting Jews, may help.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>3. <strong>Why did the <em>ben sorer u&#8217;moreh<\/em> (wayward and rebellious son) get stoned?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because he drank too much wine!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(For more background on the wayward and rebellious son, try <a href=\"http:\/\/www.harova.org\/torah\/view.asp?id=1042\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">this article<\/a>.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>1. I once overheard a man telling over the following true story: He was driving in some hick town and was pulled over by a cop for speeding. This police [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sfsi_plus_gutenberg_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_show_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_type":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_alignemt":"","sfsi_plus_gutenburg_max_per_row":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[41,9],"tags":[491,85,492],"class_list":["post-3185","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-devarim","category-weekly-torah-portion","tag-ben-sorer-umoreh","tag-jewish-humor","tag-tzitzis"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Jewish Jokes of the Week: Parshat Ki Teitzei - Jewish Resources<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/jewish-jokes-of-the-week-parshas-ki-teitzei\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Jewish Jokes of the Week: Parshat Ki Teitzei - Jewish Resources\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"1. I once overheard a man telling over the following true story: He was driving in some hick town and was pulled over by a cop for speeding. 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