{"id":9822,"date":"2024-05-28T16:36:54","date_gmt":"2024-05-28T16:36:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/?p=9822"},"modified":"2024-05-28T16:36:56","modified_gmt":"2024-05-28T16:36:56","slug":"hear-me-out","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/hear-me-out\/","title":{"rendered":"Hear Me Out"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

You’re Not Even Listening!<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

One day, my wife looked at me and said, \u201cYou\u2019re not even listening to me, are you?!\u201d I thought, \u201cGee, that\u2019s a strange way to start a conversation.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes, this is a joke. It didn\u2019t really happen, but humor is based in truth, which is why it makes such an impact when we can relate to a joke. There\u2019s an idea that people tune out their spouses, when they should really be listening more, hence the joke.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I Told You – On the Bottom!<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I recently had an experience which drove the point home to me. I\u2019d gone into a drug store to get something specific. It was a store I don\u2019t generally go to, so the layout was unfamiliar to me. Therefore, when I walked in, to save time, I asked the cashier where to find the item. She said, \u201cIt\u2019s in aisle 14 on the left-hand side.\u201d So, I headed over to aisle 14, looked on the left-hand side, and I saw similar items to what I was looking for, but not the one I wanted. Not just the brand, but the category was not there. I walked back and forth, up and down the aisle, trying to find it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finally, I spied what I was looking for. It was on the bottom shelf. Now, I\u2019m used to the standard marketing procedures where expensive items are put at eye-level, and cheaper ones are at the bottom. This time, both the name-brand and generic items were on the bottom shelf. In fact, I couldn\u2019t even stoop low enough to read the tags so I took a picture with my phone and read the price labels from it!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I made my purchase decision and headed to the register. The cashier asked if I\u2019d found everything OK, as they are trained to do. I let her know that, actually, I\u2019d had a difficult time finding the item. I said I was surprised that it was on the bottom shelf. She replied, \u201cI told you it was. Aisle 14, left-hand side, on the bottom.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I might have argued, to say that she\u2019d told me aisle 14, left-hand side, but not that it was on the bottom shelf. I certainly didn\u2019t hear her say that, or I\u2019d have known where to look. But I couldn\u2019t say for sure she didn\u2019t say that. It\u2019s quite possible that I just stopped listening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not So Smart Anymore…<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I realized that quite often, when people are giving us instructions, we feel we have enough information and we shut off. Whether it\u2019s listening or reading, we\u2019re done. I\u2019m sure many of you have taken that famous test which says at the top, \u201cRead all instructions before taking the test.\u201d Then it begins by saying, \u201cChoose the correct answer for each question \u2026\u201d and \u201cFill in each circle completely\u2026\u201d et cetera, et cetera, ad nauseum infinitum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Towards the bottom of the instructions is a line that says, \u201cDo not fill in any circles on this page. Put your pencil down and wait for your teacher\u2019s instruction.\u201d Most students don\u2019t get that far and furiously begin to fill in the circles to answer what turn out to be relatively easy questions. As they do, they\u2019re smiling to themselves with how well they\u2019re doing at answering the questions. Only at the end, when the teacher reads all the instructions out loud, slowly, do they begin to feel sheepish about what they\u2019ve done. They don\u2019t feel so smart anymore, because they got it wrong!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You May Save Yourself Unnecessary Work<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

They should have been sitting there with blank papers, but because they didn\u2019t follow directions, they ended up doing unnecessary work and looking foolish. I remember getting this test in maybe sixth or seventh grade and there were one or two kids who didn\u2019t write anything. I\u2019m not sure whether they read everything first, or had heard about this test before, but they certainly were smiling and proud of themselves for not getting caught in the trap.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When this occurred at the drug store, and I realized that I\u2019d stopped listening, I considered that this is something many of us do. We think we understand; we think we\u2019ve got it covered; and we don\u2019t need to hear any more. Often, like in my case, we end up struggling because we didn\u2019t pay attention; because we tuned out when we only had part of the message.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We Will Do Because We Will Listen<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

So often, people hear what they want to hear. They ask a question of a Rav or respected individual, and then they stop listening when they get out of the response whatever they were looking for. It sounds like a good plan, but they\u2019re actually setting themselves up for failure, potential struggles, and not living up to Hashem\u2019s plan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When our parents or teachers say things, we think we know better. We forget they\u2019re speaking from experience, or rationalize that the world is different and they don\u2019t know what is correct in THIS situation. Sometimes, we might even do it to Hashem. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

At Har Sinai, we said Naaseh v\u2019Nishma, we will do and we will listen. One understanding is that we will do what Hashem wants because<\/em> we\u2019re willing to listen to Him. All I\u2019m saying is this: word to the wise; make sure you don\u2019t finish listening before He\u2019s finished speaking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
Want to learn more about Jewish philosophy? Join TorahMates today to learn Torah from home, with your own study partner!<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

By Rabbi Jonathan Gewirtz<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rabbi Gewirtz (Operation Inspiration<\/a>) welcomes comments and feedback. Write to him at info@JewishSpeechWriter.com<\/a> to share your thoughts. You never know when you may be the lamp that enlightens someone else.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You’re Not Even Listening! One day, my wife looked at me and said, \u201cYou\u2019re not even listening to me, are you?!\u201d I thought, \u201cGee, that\u2019s a strange way to start […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":9831,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sfsi_plus_gutenberg_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_show_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_type":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_alignemt":"","sfsi_plus_gutenburg_max_per_row":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[702,8,2,40],"tags":[756],"class_list":["post-9822","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jewish-philosophy","category-judaism-101","category-shabbat-and-holidays","category-shavuos","tag-jewish-thought"],"yoast_head":"\nHear Me Out - Jewish Resources<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"All I\u2019m saying is this: word to the wise; make sure you don\u2019t finish listening before He\u2019s finished speaking.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/hear-me-out\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Hear Me Out - Jewish Resources\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"All I\u2019m saying is this: word to the wise; 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