Have you ever noticed that some people running companies have trusted staff working for them, while other people seem to be doing everything themselves? You might think one company has better employees and sadly the second employer can’t find good help, but the truth may be a little different.
Here’s The Problem
The problem may be that the person in charge has trouble delegating. Delegating, which means giving specific tasks to specific people who report to you, requires that you trust them to do the job. Even if you’re not a control freak, you might be a perfectionist who doesn’t trust people to do it the way you wanted it done.
The problem with being unable to delegate is twofold. First of all, you end up being so busy you can’t give everything the attention you need to, so you can’t grow your business or focus on the big picture. On the other side, if you don’t trust your staff, or won’t allow them to learn how you like them to do things, they won’t be able to grow into the type of employees you could trust. It’s a vicious cycle.
He Knows What I Need
You’ll never guess where the inspiration for this column and discussion came from. It actually came to me while I was getting a haircut. I have been using the same barber for years and he knows how I like my hair cut. In fact, he probably knows better than I do, because I’ve never cut my own hair. I mean, there was this one time, during COVID, and I couldn’t get to a barber, but even then, I had my daughter help me.
I wouldn’t be able to specify which combs on the trimmer to use, or how to cut around my ears and make it look clean and tidy. Even back in the days when I had more hair and would specify to the barber that I wanted a “3” (I think that’s one of the blade guards on the trimmer), I couldn’t have told him how to cut my hair.
In His Control
I realized that we totally rely on the barber to make the decisions necessary for us to end up with a nice-looking haircut. He knows what we need better than we ourselves do. All we have to be concerned with is whether we’re happy with the end product. It made me realize that we really are forced to delegate when it comes to the haircut, and that’s a great lesson for other parts of our life.
The truth is, so many things are not in our control. We can make the perfect presentation, but if the client doesn’t like it, we don’t get the job. We can arrange the perfect garden party, but if it unexpectedly rains, everything gets spoiled.
Unexpected Thief
I remember learning an interesting Gemara about pigeon racers. The question is if they are thieves, because the other racers don’t think they will lose. There was a distinction made between those who thought their birds were the fastest, and those who thought the speed of the birds was determined by the way the owner urged it on with various sounds. The ones who relied on the birds knew they could lose, but the ones who relied only on themselves, didn’t imagine they could lose, and when they do, they are upset and the winner is considered to be stealing from them.
The subtle lesson behind this is that if you depend on yourself, you could end up disappointed. When you realize some things are out of your control, you are able to relax more, and not get as upset when things go wrong. If you trust your workers to do a good job, they usually will, and if they don’t, you can take it in stride. By the same token, if you realize you’re in Hashem’s (God) skilled hands, you likely will be able to handle it when things go wrong because you trust Him.
Thoughts While Sitting In The Haircut Chair
Like sitting in the chair at the barbershop, you resign yourself to the fact that not only aren’t you in control, but that the One in charge will make you look your very best. The outcome of every situation will be what Hashem knows it should be, and once you make your best efforts, you leave it up to him. In most cases, your hishtadlut (effort) is pretty much like the fellow in the barber chair – you make some basic suggestions, but the final product isn’t up to you.
And you know what? There are times I fall asleep in the barber chair. It’s because I’m relaxed knowing it’s not my problem. Imagine being able to go through life with that sense of calm and serenity! And it’s possible. So the next time you start worrying that someone else won’t be able to do something as well as you, but it takes you away from other important responsibilities, cut it out, relax, and focus on the big picture.
By Rabbi Jonathan Gewirtz
2025 – All Rights Reserved
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