What is the most appropriate age for the Upsherin haircut?
In most communities, the Upsherin (haircut) is done on the son’s third birthday.
Like A Tree
We find a source for this custom in the Midrash,1 which compares a young child to a tree growing in Eretz Yisroel (Land of Israel). Just as one may not eat the fruit of the tree during the first three years, so too a child is unable to fully express themselves verbally during the first three years of his life, and only in the fourth year is he able to sanctify himself to God with the words of Torah.2
Although the Upsherin ceremony should preferably take place on the third birthday, this is not always possible. For example, when the birthday is on Shabbat or Yom Tov, we cannot give the haircut on that day. There are different minhagim (customs) as to the proper time for the Upsherin in such a scenario. Many postpone cutting the hair until after Shabbat, while others do it before that Shabbat, on Friday.
The tradition to postpone cutting the hair in such a circumstance is in accordance with the words of the Midrash, which compares a young child to a tree whose fruit are forbidden during its first three years of growth. On the other hand, the other custom of performing the Upsherin earlier, before Shabbat, is in accordance with the value of not delaying the child’s observance of the mitzvot.
Bring Him To The Holy Land
Many parents who reside in Eretz Yisroel postpone their child’s first haircut until Lag BaOmer.3 On Lag BaOmer they bring their child to Meron near the burial site of Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai and perform the Upsherin there. (Some even travel in from around the world to perform the Upsherin in Meron!) This practice is attributed to the Arizal who did so for his own son.4
Some even have the custom to cut the child’s hair on the Lag B’Omer before his third birthday when his birthday is just few months away. Parents should follow their own family’s Lag BaOmer Upsherin customs. If one is in doubt, he can consult with his Rabbi for guidance.
There are many days in the Jewish calendar in which it is questionable if one can give the Upsherin haircut. These days include: the days of Sefirat Haomer, the three weeks before Tisha B’Av, Chol Hamoed and Rosh Chodesh. When the child’s three-year-old birthday falls out on any of these days, one should consult a Rabbi when to schedule the haircut.
>> Read Upsherin Part 1: A Jewish Boy’s First Haircut and Upsherin Part 2: The Meaning Of The Upsherin
By Rabbi Mayer Smith
Upsherin Part 3 Sources:
1 Midrash Tanchuma Parashat Kedoshim 14
2 Shu”t Arugat Habosem 210
3 Sha’arei Teshuvah Orach Chaim 531:7 and Teshuvot V’hanhagot 2:246
4 Pri Etz Chaim, Sha’ar Sefirat Ha’Omer, Chapter 7
