While parents prepare for their children’s Upsherin, they may find themselves somewhat confused. They may be wondering, “Yes, my child is of age to enjoy the excitement of a birthday party, but can he really comprehend the spiritual aspect of the Upsherin? Can I really teach him about pe’ot and the associated mitzvot? Will this ceremony actually have a positive effect on him?”
In His Heart
The answer to these questions is yes, definitely! Your child’s mind is not fully developed. It is just the beginning, but that is exactly why he can absorb the experience. He may not grasp the intellectual meaning of these mitzvot, but he understands the language of the heart!
His tender soul is taking in the entire experience. These pure seeds of emunah (belief in God) and love for Torah and mitzvot, planted by his beloved parents, take root deep into his heart and will continue to grow his entire life, with God’s help!
On the contrary, it is because of the child’s not-yet-fully-developed mind that he retains a pure heart, which allows for the genuine love of Torah and mitzvot to strike the cords of his innocent soul.
What’s Our Goal?
When preparing for, and during, the Upsherin ceremony, we must take care to remain focused on our mission, planting in our child the proper seeds for the future: Feelings of emunah and love for God and His mitzvot! Let us make sure that the context of our affair is not a mere birthday celebration, rather that of a joyful festivity of education, nachat (Jewish pride) and appreciation of the gifts of God!
In the days and months leading up to his third birthday, parents should utilize this great opportunity to teach their child about the mitzvot of pe’ot,1 tzitzit,2 wearing a kippah,3 and the beginning of the study of Torah –learning the Aleph-Bet! At the same time, parents should also be careful not to burden their child with intellectual ideas of the mitzvot beyond his comprehension as the focus of this education is done more with talking to the gentle heart of the youngster.
Some educational ideas for the young child include:
- Check your local Judaica store for exciting educational books for the young “Upsherin boy.”
- Allow him to join in the exciting preparations for the Upsherin party, (i.e. he can help mommy bake, buy items, etc.) while discussing the excitement of becoming a “grownup” Jewish boy!
- Make role models for him by telling him how he is growing up, having pe’ot, tzitzit, and a kippah just like his father,4 older brothers, and other grownups he admires!
Parents should utilize this occasion to pray for the successful upbringing of their child. They should beseech God that this Upsherin be the beginning of their son’s lifelong mission of studying Torah and observing the mitzvot!
>> Read Upsherin Part 5: A Visit To The Rabbi
By Rabbi Mayer Smith
Upsherin Part 6 Sources:
1 See section four, Understanding the Mitzvah of Pe’ot
2 See section one footnote # 5
3 See section one footnote # 4
4 In general, children growing up in a healthy and loving home yearn to emulate their parents. Explaining to a young child how he is maturing and resembling his father evokes a deep sense of emotion in the young soul!
