With all the scams and con artists in the world, people have to come up with ways to identify the truth and know if they’re really speaking to who they think they’re speaking to.
Scammed!
A worker at a shipping store told me about a woman who came to mail an express letter to her grandson because he had called her urgently, asking her to send him money in the form of postal money orders. She’d gone to get them and was overnighting the package. The shipper suggested that perhaps this was a scam. She said she knew it was legitimate because she’d spoken to him directly, but then she called her grandson and found out that he didn’t know what she was talking about. She was embarrassed but grateful that the shipper had convinced her not to fall for the scam.
With technology, crooks are able to reproduce voices and sound very convincing. They can make a phone call and from the few words the person speaks, for example, when saying, “I’m sorry, you have the wrong number,” they can recreate entire conversations. So you need a way to tell if it’s legit or not.
Secret Codes
Consumer Protection groups advise establishing a secret word within your family. If you get a call saying your son’s car broke down and he needs you to wire him $500 to fix it, you can express your concern, and then ask for your family password. Even if criminals can make it sound like the person, they likely won’t know the special word. Then you know it’s not who they say it is. These special words connect your group, and ensure the closeness is real. You make them up when you’re in person, and the scammers are out of luck if they can’t produce the word.
I thought about this idea one week after I’d written my weekly Parsha (Torah portion) sheet and dedicated it to a fellow whose yahrtzeit (the anniversary of the death) was the following week. He didn’t have any family but I knew him and wanted to do something for his neshama (soul). His last name was Pasternak, and I put that in my Parsha sheet. Then the strangest thing happened.
Coincidence?
A short time later, someone mentioned a famous Russian novel to me. It is called Dr. Zhivago, and was written by a man named Boris Pasternak. It was so random and unusual that it made me take notice. What are the odds that I wrote the name Pasternak, and within a day, I had that name recited back to me? It was like that secret code word families share, except this wasn’t my family.
To me, it was like a special wink from Hashem (God). I imagined He approved of my remembering this kind gentleman, even though perhaps no one else in the world did. I’m not sure what zechut (merit) this man has that I’ve remembered his Yahrtzeit and dedicated Torah to his memory, as well as said Kaddish on multiple occasions for him. But Hashem knows, and I felt a special nod from Shamayim (Heaven) when I heard the name again.
In The N.Y. Senate Chamber
I once delivered the opening invocation at the New York State Senate. It’s a sort of prayer or blessing upon the beginning of a session. While we waited for the members to assemble, I spoke with several State Senators. One of them excused himself for a few moments as he went to speak to a friend and colleague. When he returned, he mentioned a game they played.
When one of them was going to give a speech, the other would give him some special word which he had to use in the talk. When he did, the other person would be the only one to know why this word was used, and they would be amused at their little private joke. Then he turned to me and said, “Sparrows! You have to use the word sparrows in your speech.” It was a challenge I didn’t intend to accept, as I had prepared my remarks well before I got there.
King Solomon
During the invocation, I spoke of Shlomo HaMelech – King Solomon. I was going to make an analogy between him and other leaders who should ask Hashem for wisdom to lead the people. As I mentioned his wisdom, I was inspired. “He was so wise, he could speak to the birds. He conversed with the robins; the sparrows…” As I said that, the Senator’s face exploded into the largest grin. He was so pleased I’d played along and said the secret word. I felt we now had a deeper connection.
So it is when we find these secret words coming to us from Heaven. The name of someone we’ve helped; a phrase or concept we’ve recently learned in the Torah; a reference to a positive act we’ve done. These are the special messages from Hashem reminding us that He is paying attention, and happy with the connection we have. We know these messages come from Him, and we take comfort in the knowledge that we know just Who is really talking to us.
By Rabbi Jonathan Gewirtz
2025 – All Rights Reserved
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