Ask the Rabbi with Rabbi Chaim Mintz:
We often have guests — or even family members — at our Shabbos table who are not interested in hearing words of Torah, preferring other topics of conversation, such as politics, sports, or just the latest news in town. Should I allow this type of talk at the table so they will enjoy the Shabbos meal?
Rabbi Chaim Mintz responds:
An Enjoyable Setting
Of course, ideally, a Shabbat table should have only words of Torah and inspiration. But since you want everyone at the table to enjoy the Shabbat meal, being so restrictive may not be so advisable. Nevertheless, with some thought and creativity, almost any topic can be turned into something connected to the Torah.
For example, if someone begins discussing current events, you can point out that everything that happens in the world is orchestrated by Hashem (God), and discuss what message He may be sending. Similarly, if one of your guests starts talking about politics, you can steer the conversation toward one of the many political issues that have ramifications in halachah (Torah law) or hashkafah (Jewish worldview).
Something For Everyone
A person who enjoys politics may welcome a debate on the pros and cons of voting for a candidate who pledges to help the Jewish community or is pro-Israel, but whose moral standards are not up to par. You can also share the Torah view on various contemporary issues, such as liberalism versus conservatism.
For someone who brings up sports, you can point out how every talent whether the ability to hit a home run or the winning shot is a gift from Heaven, and with hard work and perseverance, can be developed and used for good things. You can also discuss how any position of prominence such as political, athletic, or anything else can be used to glorify Hashem’s Name.
One recent example is the Orthodox lawyer of a prominent politician who would not attend hearings on Shabbat, and was seen covering his head in order to recite a blessing before taking a drink. As these hearings were broadcast worldwide, this was certainly an international Kiddush Hashem (sanctification of G-d’s Name). And of course, you can point to the famous example of Sandy Koufax, who turned down the opportunity of a lifetime by refusing to pitch in a World Series game on Yom Kippur. By giving this up, he showed the world that he was willing to sacrifice fame and prestige for something of greater value.
Discuss It
This can also be used as a springboard to discuss priorities in life. But an even better idea would be to come to the meal prepared with a topic your audience will enjoy. In general, people are not against Torah discussions per se; it all depends on the presentation. The list of ideas is endless, but here are some examples: Instead of a longwinded or “boring” Torah thought, you can share life-lessons found in the parshah of the week (weekly Torah portion), making the Torah alive and relevant in today’s world.
Look for captivating stories that will pique their interest and bring out powerful lessons about serving Hashem, character development, or being kind to others. You can also ask trivia questions on a variety of engaging Torah topics, using this as a tool to teach interesting Torah laws and facts.
I heard another way to get the people at the table involved: Many families have someone pose an interesting hashkafah question, taken from the vast amount of Torah literature available. They then give everyone an opportunity to share their perspective, concluding with an authoritative Torah view. So with a little bit of thought and planning, your Shabbat table can be enjoyable and spiritual, with food for both the body and the soul.
In Short:
Prepare things that your audience will enjoy, such as life-lessons from the parsha, trivia questions on Torah topics, captivating stories with lessons, or interesting hashkafah questions. But almost any topic can be connected to Torah.
Have another question to ask a rabbi? You can ask Rabbi Mintz your own question by joining Ask the Rabbi Live on Tuesdays at 9PM ET. You can also submit your questions to asktherabbi@oorah.org, or head to oorah.org/asktherabbi/ to watch the latest Q&As.
