The Question
This week’s Torah reading contains the prohibition against seeking revenge (Vayikra 19:18). If we were wronged by someone, we are prohibited from retaliating with revenge.
One may question, what is wrong with revenge? After all, if we were wronged by someone unjustly, so why doesn’t that person deserve to have the same aggravation ‘paid back’ to him?
Understanding Where Pain Really Comes From
Superficially, this reasoning would appear to be quite valid. However, the Sefer Hachinuch (Mitzvah 241) points to an additional dimension which demands of us to restrain ourselves from seeking vengeance:
Every single thing which happens to us only happens because it was decreed in Heaven to be so. No one can harm us in any way unless God decides that we are deserving of the specific suffering that we receive.
Once we realize that all which comes to us is directed by Heaven, the person who did the actual harm becomes an insignificant figure in the picture. We were not hurt because a person decided to utilize his power to hurt us. If we were hurt, it means that a direct order was issued by the Heavenly Court, and the person who carried it out was just a pawn in the hands of God as a means to deliver the unpleasant experience. Had it not been decreed to be so in Heaven, that person would have been powerless against us.
Accordingly, how can we be driven to ‘pay back’ our oppressor, when he truly had no control over us and our suffering was dictated by none other than God Himself?
This, explains the Sefer Hachinuch, is the underlying theme behind the prohibition against taking revenge. For we must internalize the concept that our misfortune is directed by the Almighty, and our fate is never in the hands of another human being.
The Story of King David
An unbelievable demonstration of this attitude is recorded in the Book of Shmuel (Shmuel II 16:5-10). Avshalom instigated a coup against his father, King David.
As King David was fleeing for his life, a man by the name of Shimi Ben Geira emerged on the scene and profusely cursed David. To drive home his point, he hurled a few stones at the king as well.
In a most disrespectful manner, Shimi Ben Geira wished King David that he fall into the hands of the rebel Avshalom. Upon hearing the words of Shimi Ben Geira, one of the king’s loyal aides turned to David and offered to remove the head of the brazen antagonist.
King David’s Response
Despite the overwhelming distress David was experiencing at the time, he declined the offer of the beheading and reasoned as follows:
“What is there to be worked up about? God is the one who told him to curse me. Who are we to challenge him for his actions?”
One can reasonably assume that God did not instruct Shimi Ben Geira to do such a hideous act (see Radak). David was conveying the true outlook in life; unveiling the works behind the scenes.
If Shim’i Ben Gera managed to disgrace David, it is only because it was decreed upon King David in Heaven for him to experience such suffering.
(This doesn’t mean that an order was issued specifically for Shimi Ben Geira to be the one to carry out the order of aggravating David. Ultimately, Shimi would be punished for his chosen actions. But had it not been determined by God that David should suffer, Shimi Ben Geira would not have been successful in utilizing his free will to hurt David.)
Therefore, King David did not allow himself to get worked up about the unpleasant incident. He realized very clearly that his pain had been directed by a Higher Source, and Shimi Ben Geira was merely an instrument to implement the suffering.
Applying This Lesson
Conquering the urge to seek revenge is extremely difficult. We don’t naturally see how God is truly the one behind our aggravation. All we see in this world is the person who had all the intent to cause us trouble, and this triggers a reaction of a burning desire to get even with him.
However, we must realize that it is only an illusion, and that we need to see through that which meets the eye. We must take a step back, put aside our feelings and focus consciously on fact that it is really God who orchestrated our misfortune. The more we work on doing so, the easier it will be to overcome our emotional response.
In addition, relinquishing the “responsibility” to avenge those who have hurt us will add much serenity to our lives. With practice, we will slowly adapt the true perspective on the happenings of this world, the way the Torah teaches us.
By Rabbi Yitzchok Aryeh Strimber torah4every1@gmail.com
