Q. I cannot seem to find the time to visit the sick. Can I just call him on the phone?
As we have previously mentioned, there are several components to the mitzvah (Torah commandment) of Bikur Cholim1. Although a phone call may partially accomplish some of them, it will not accomplish everything. The best technology cannot replace a visit in person! Additionally, praying at the patient’s bedside is preferable as the Shechinah (Divine presence of God) is present there (See Nedarim 40a). Therefore, one should definitely visit in person; however, when the alternative is no visit at all, one should make a phone call to the sick. (See Igrot Moshe, Yoreh De’ah 1:223)
The Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh De’ah 335) rules that one should not personally visit a patient who is suffering from stomach illness. An in-person visit may cause discomfort to such a patient. In such a case, the visitor should remain outside the patient’s room while inquiring about their welfare and recite a prayer on their behalf. The Shulchan Aruch states that this halachah (Torah law) would also apply to any sickness that causes the patient difficulty speaking.
From here, we can learn the halachic status of a phone call with regard to Bikur Cholim. Although one should visit in person, when this is not possible, any form of communication is also considered a performance of Bikur Cholim.
Minchat Yitzchak (2:84) suggests visiting the patient initially in person (and occasionally thereafter), then keeping up with them via phone to inquire about their needs and offer kind words We should conclude, as we have mentioned from the Shulchan Aruch, there are times when a visit can be bothersome for a patient. In such a case, a phone call would be preferable. Although Bikur Cholim is a great mitzvah, we must also be sensitive about how not to do to Bikur Cholim! A well-meaning visit done insensitively can cause more harm than good. We must be sensitive not to cause any stress, discomfort, or humiliation to those whom we are attempting to help!
< Bikur Cholim Part 1: Mitzvah of Visiting the Sick
By Rabbi Mayer Smith
[1] Sometimes spelled “Bikkur Cholim”
