Three Meals And When To Eat Them
We are told by Hashem (God) to eat three meals on Shabbat. The first takes place on Friday night, the second on Shabbat morning or early afternoon, and the last one, eaten toward evening, is called Seudah Shlishit or Shalosh Seudot (often referred to as Shalashudit, a mix of accents and Hebrew/Yiddish).
Many communities have the custom to eat fish at all three meals, based on Kabbalistic teachings and the connection between fish, man, and Shabbat, which were each blessed during creation.1 Hot food that was prepared before Shabbat should be served at the day meal, such as cholent or chamin. It is preferable to have fleishigs (meant dishes) by the night and day meals. The Rema mentions a custom to eat a pastry filled with meat as a reminder of the manna which was sandwiched between dew (and fell double in honor of Shabbat).2
Seudat Shlishit
During the winter months, the third meal is often overlooked because Seuda Shlishit is so soon after the second meal at lunchtime! Even if you are full, you should try to eat at least an egg-sized piece of challah for the third meal,3 or at least something mezonot (sweet dough), some fish or meat, or even a fruit.4 Seuda Shlishit should be treated like an important meal, so the table should be laid nicely and it should be more than just a quick bite to eat.5 We do not make kiddush at this meal but we do make the brachah hamotzi on lechem mishnah (two loaves of bread).6
Melava Malka
Melava Malka, meaning “Escorting the Queen,” is a special meal held after Shabbat ends, to honor Shabbat as it departs. Just as we welcome the Shabbat with celebration, we should also bid it farewell with respect.7 Even setting a nice table with just a small amount of food shows honor to Shabbat.8
While it is preferable to eat bread, you can also fulfill this mitzvah (commandment) with cake, crackers, or even fruit. Some families light candles and sing special songs, including prayers for Eliyahu Hanavi to announce Mashiach’s coming (which can only happen after Shabbat).9 According to our Sages, having hot food or drinks during Melava Malka brings good health,10 and interestingly, the “Luz” bone in our bodies, which remains intact until resurrection, receives nourishment only from this special Melava Malka meal!11
A Continuation Of Shabbat
Melava Malka, the meal that follows Shabbat, is a beautiful and deeply meaningful tradition. Although not counted among the three required Shabbat meals, it is considered a spiritual extension of Shabbat itself. Its name Melava Malka means “escorting the queen,” and its purpose is to accompany the holiness of Shabbat as it departs, much like one would walk an honored guest out of the home to show love and respect. This meal is also known as “the meal of Dovid HaMelech (King David).”
This is because Dovid HaMelech asked Hashem to reveal the day of his death. Hashem agreed to tell him only the day of the week – and was told he depart from this world onbShabbat.12 Out of awe and reverence, the Malach HaMavet (Angel of Death) had no power over Dovid during Shabbat. Dovid would spend every Shabbat immersed in Torah learning and tefillah (prayer), clinging to life with kedushah (holiness). When he would begin a new week on Motzai Shabbat, he would eat a special meal as an expression of gratitude for being granted another week of life. We emulate Dovid by eating a meal after just as he did.13
The Luz Bone
The spiritual depth of Melavah Malka goes even further. A remarkable story told by a survivor of Auschwitz illustrates just how enduring this meal’s effect can be. This man was assigned the devastating job of clearing out the ashes from the crematoria. In this place of death and destruction, he noticed something extraordinary. Amidst the ashes, there was always one tiny bone that remained untouched by the flames. He came to understand that this was the luz bone, which Chazal say is the one bone in the body that never decays and will be the point from which the body will come whole again at the time of techiyat hameitim, the resurrection of the dead.
The luz bone is about the size of a barley kernel and is located beneath the brain, at the top of the spine.14 According to the Shibolei Haleket,15 this bone receives nourishment exclusively from the food we eat during Melava Malka. It literally feeds the part of our body destined for eternal life.
To Honor Melava Malka
The Gemara in Shabbat16 teaches that one should always prepare a table for Melava Malka, even if he plans to eat only a small amount. To illustrate this point, it brings a story about Rav Avahu, who would slaughter an entire cow every Motzai Shabbat even though he only ate the kidney. His son once suggested that he save the kidney from the cow slaughtered before Shabbat instead of using a fresh animal every week come Motzai Shabbat. Rav Avahu agreed, but that very Motzai Shabbat, a lion appeared and destroyed the kidney they saved from the sluaghtered cow.
The Ran explains that for someone of Rav Avahu’s level, saving the kidney instead of slaughtering a new cow showed a subtle lack of emunah (faith), since expenses for Melava Malka are considered part of the expenses of Shabbat and are promised to be paid back by Hashem. This shows us that Melava Malka deserves its own dignity and preparation.
Comfort For Our Soul
In the same way that besamim (spices used during havdalah) comforts the soul after Shabbat departs, Melava Malka nurtures us spiritually as we transition into the week. The sudden emptiness many people feel on Motzai Shabbat is a reflection of the soul’s sadness at the loss of the neshama yeteirah – the extra soul given on Shabbat. Celebrating Melava Malka is our declaration that we are not ready to let go of Shabbat so quickly, and we want to hold on to its peace and holiness just a little longer. It’s a time for us to sit and allow the lingering light of Shabbat to be absorbed in us so that we can carry the holiness into the week ahead.17
Rabbi Moshe Shternbuch describes Melava Malka as a seudat hodaa – a meal of gratitude, thanking Hashem for having allowed us to spend Shabbat in His presence. In addition to being an expression of thanks, it also serves a mystical purpose. Kabbalistic sources teach that every blessing requires a vessel to hold it, and the meal of Melava Malka acts as the container for the leftover blessings of Shabbat. Without it, the energy and goodness of Shabbat may dissipate without fully entering the week.
Excerpted from Oorah’s Torah Nuggets
Shabbat Part 5 – Sources:
1 Bnei Yissaschar, Adar – Ma’amar4:2
2 Shulchan Aruch 242
3 Mishnah Berurah 292:22
5 Shabbos 119b and Machatzis Hashekel 291:1
and Shulchan Aruch 300:1
6 Shulchan Aruch 291:4 (see Aruch Hashulchan
291:10 for the different opinions on this)
7 Shulchan Aruch 300:1
9 Tur and Shulchan Aruch 295:1
10 Shabbos 119b
11 Beis Yosef, and Mishnah Berurah 300:2
12 Shabbos 30a
13 Magen Avraham OC 300:1 and Pri Megadim
14 Sefer Ta’amei Haminhagim 425
15 Siman Kuf Lamed
16 Shabbos 119b
17 Likutei Chasam Sofer
