Sheep Before Children? Moshe’s Subtle Reproof
In this week’s Torah reading (Bamidbar 32), as the Jews neared the land of Israel, two tribes approached Moshe (Moses) and asked if instead of giving them their estates within Israel proper, he could designate their estates at their present location, right across the Jordan River from Israel.
Rashi points out that when they made their request, they asked to “build pens for their sheep and cities for their children,” and Moshe answered them in the reverse order, “Build cities for your children and pens for your sheep.”
Rashi explains that there was a hidden dialogue going on between them. From the fact that they first requested to build pens for their animals and only afterwards to build homes for their children, Moshe deduced that on some level there was emphasis on preserving their possessions over attending to their families. This is why Moshe answered them in the reverse order, meaning to say, “Get your priorities straight. First care for your families and then take care of your possessions.”
When Words Reveal What’s in Our Hearts
We must understand that these men were upstanding people of supreme character. If we would have asked them directly, “What do you care about more, your animals or families?” surely they would say that their families are of upmost importance, without comparison. Such a question would seem absurd to them. We can be sure that they had absolutely no intention to actually neglect their families in any way, for the sake of preserving their wealth. However, deep down in their hearts there was a little too much focus on their assets, which came to light by the fact that they mentioned the animals before their offspring. To this, Moshe responded that they must make sure that on every single level, their families should be held as the top priority in their hearts.
Material Pull vs. Spiritual Priorities
This kind of subtle difference between our true values and our behavior is not unique. Everyone would agree that pursuing acts of kindness is far more worthy than attaining luxuries. Yet, we usually display much more excitement and enthusiasm when it comes to acquiring worldly pleasures than when our help is needed by someone. We open our wallets much more easily when purchasing ice-cream than when we give to charity. People work extremely hard to make a little extra money. But how many of us invest anything close to the same amount of time and energy into self-improvement of character?
The problem lies in the fact that we lose focus of our principles. We know what we consider to be more important, but the draw to materialism distorts the levels of priority in our minds and blinds us of our ideals. If we don’t work on keeping focus on our values, we will see the results in our actions.
Protecting Furnishings—or Protecting Principles?
Binyomin Dennis was an extremely wealthy man and a big philanthropist in Ukraine. One time, a Rosh Yeshivah (dean) came to his house to solicit funds for his Yeshivah (school for Talmud study). The Rosh Yeshivah took note of the fact that there were sure to be fancy rugs and furnishings in the house and he was nervous that he might dirty them upon entering the front room. In order to avoid doing so, he went around the house and came through the back door.
When Binyomin realized the reason for the rabbi’s behavior, he became very upset and started crying. “You are undermining the entire message which I am trying to teach my children!” he exclaimed. “I work so hard to convey to my children that money and worldly possessions are of no significance and that the only thing of true value in this world is the Torah. And here you are contradicting that which I desire so badly to imbue in my children.”
A Self-Check: What Do We Really Care About?
It would be a wise choice for us all to spend some time analyzing our behavior. Do we express more disappointment over a financial loss or when we realize we committed a wrong? Are we careful when helping others to do so with upmost attention as we would when planning a vacation for ourselves? Do we make an effort to spend time with and care for our family members as much as we do to earn a few dollars?
Parshat Matot by Rabbi Yitzchok Aryeh Strimber (torah4every1@gmail.com)
