At the end of this week’s Torah reading, the Torah discusses the subject of Eglah Arufah. If a corpse of a person is found on the road and it is not known who the murderer is, the elders of the closest city to where the body was found must perform the Eglah Arufah ritual as an atonement for the sin. When the Eglah Arufah is brought, the pious scholars of the city declare, “We did not kill the person.” This practice calls for an explanation. Why are they the ones who must state that they were not the murderers? Out of all people, why would one suspect the finest people of the town to have committed the hideous crime?
Emotional support saves lives
Our Sages tell us (see Rashi) that they aren’t coming to declare that they literally didn’t kill the person. Rather, the meaning of this disclaimer is that they did not cause the person’s death in an indirect manner by sending this guest off without escorting him out of the city as should be done. How is this related to being killed? The Alter of Kelm explains that when a person is escorted on his way with respect, he is fortified emotionally and has more stamina to fend off attackers. If a person, however, is sent off on his way without any sense of care from others, his spirits are low and he has less emotional strength to defend himself.
This is a tremendous lesson in our responsibility to show care for others. Giving people attention and showing that they mean something to us can be a matter of life and death. Showing interest in a person is not just a matter of a nice gesture but a means of empowerment. When we give people a sense of value, we give them strength to overcome challenges in life.
Unintended plane ticket?
A man from Israel we will call Moshe, opened up a wedding invitation he received in the mail. It was from an acquaintance from the Yeshivah (a school for Talmud study) he attended some years ago. Moshe was very surprised to find a plane ticket enclosed. The groom was from England, and that was where the wedding was going to take place. He was not a particularly close friend of the groom; in fact, he had very little to do with him and had not kept up with him. Moshe was sure that there was some kind of mistake. The ticket must have been intended for someone else.
He made some inquires to get the phone number of the groom and called him to inform him about the ticket. When the groom got on the phone, he said to Moshe, “I hope to see you at my wedding. I sent you a ticket because I feel you have a primary part in this joyous occasion!”
Moshe had no idea what he was talking about, and the groom proceeded to explain: “When I came to the Yeshivah, I had a very hard time breaking in. I was a foreigner who was not used to the language or the mentality. I felt very lonely, with no family or friends in the country to lean on for support. Every day I was consumed with bitter feelings, until I decided I had to leave. I had high hopes for learning and growing in this wonderful Yeshivah, but I just didn’t have the emotional strength to continue.
You took interest in me
I packed up my belongings and was about to head back to my home in England. As I approached the study hall of the Yeshivah for one last time, a classmate approached me and greeted me with a cheery, ‘Good morning!’ He gave me a big smile, straightened out my collar for me, and said, ‘Now you look presentable and ready to enter the study hall!’ As we made our way to the study hall, he made some small talk with me, inquiring about how I was doing. It made me feel so good to see that there was actually someone who was interested in me!
This little encounter transformed my mindset completely. I went back to my room to unpack my stuff and cancelled my ticket home. I stayed in the Yeshivah, and indeed advanced a lot in my studies. The Yeshivah transformed me into a whole different person and brought me to new levels. It is because of the education I merited to receive in this Yeshivah that I am now engaged to the daughter of a Torah scholar, ready to build a home of Torah. The boy who took interest in me on that fateful day was you.”
The Power to Empower
We all have the power to empower others. You don’t have to be a person who is full of charisma and bursting with confidence to be able to encourage others. Merely taking an earnest interest in someone and showing a person that he is worthy of your attention can make a difference in someone’s life. When you smile at someone and give him recognition, you give him energy. When you say a kind word and show that a person means something to you, you give him life. It’s our duty to reach out to those we encounter and show them care and concern. We have no idea how far-reaching the effects can be.
By Rabbi Yitzchok Aryeh Strimber torah4every1@gmail.com
