Twistable Words
Most of us remember that when Yaakov (Jacob) spoke to Yitzchak (Isaac) to get the brachot (Blessings), and Yitzchak asked his identity, he replied, “Anochi Esav Bechorecha, I am Esav your firstborn.” Yaakov didn’t want to lie, and what he said was able to be parsed, “I am I, and Esav is your firstborn.” The idea was that he wanted to speak the truth in whatever way possible because it was important to him. Indeed, Hashem’s (God’s) seal is truth, signed in the first, middle, and final letters of the Hebrew alphabet, Aleph, Mem, Tav.
When the Truth is a Lie
However, there are some people who say true things not because they care about truth. Instead, they use them to mislead, but, because they may technically be true, they can defend themselves. One example was driven home to me when I saw a shocking headline. “Chase and Bank of America to shut all 8,400 branches in the coming days”. That certainly got my attention. I bank with Chase, and they do have a lot of branches. Could they be in such financial trouble that they needed to shutter branches and lay people off? And in just a few, short days? With no notice? The article referenced the Federal Reserve, and linked the closures to that. Drawn in, I read on.
So, what was the earth-shattering event, the seeming financial calamity that precipitated shutting the lights in thousands of banks and leaving customers without the ability to access banking services in person, having to rely only on online transactions? July 4th. Oh… duh.
Yes, because it is a Federal holiday in the United States, the Federal Reserve closes on Independence Day and many banks follow suit. This wasn’t fake news. It was true, the banks were going to close, but the message was certainly intended to mislead. They got me to read the whole article – or at least, enough to realize just how inane it was. They manipulated the truth to imply something else, and cause people to be concerned. It’s a perfect instance of using the truth to mislead and lie; a perfect example of the olam hasheker (false world) in which we live.
When a Lie is the Truth
I’ve written in the past about the difference between truth and emet. Truth, as Rabbi Avigdor Miller z”l explained, is the facts as they are, but emet is doing what will bring about God’s desire. What does that mean? Allow me to explain. If someone buys a new dress and she loves it, but you don’t, and she asks for your opinion, what should you say?
A person might say, “She asked for my honest opinion, so I have to be truthful and tell her I think it’s hideous.” But that isn’t emet at all. Emet, what we’ll call, “Hashem’s honest truth,” would require you to take her feelings into account, and, if need be, find a way to compliment her on the new outfit.
Emet Over Truth
Why is that emet? Because it causes good and positive feelings, which is what Hashem wants, not hurtful ones. Besides, if she bought it and thinks it looks good, then to her, it is truthfully a nice dress and it looks good. Your comments should be complimentary, and complementary to her own opinion. Unless she’s deciding whether she should return it, or at least, if you know that she can, don’t make negative comments. If she can’t do anything about it, you’re just hurting her for no reason. [Although, perhaps, if it is truly very unflattering and will result in more people making her feel bad later, you can find a nice way to let her down easy now.]
It is the same with praising a bride. Hillel says, and the halacha follows his opinion, that we say, “the bride is pretty and kind.” Obviously in her husband’s eyes this is the case and that’s truthful enough for us to concur. If we were to find negatives in her, that would break the harmony of the marriage or our friendship, and would lead to machloket (dispute), certainly not the type of world Hashem wants from us.
Of course, this is not to say one should condone improper behavior for fear of hurting someone’s feelings. Remember, we’re trying to get the world to the place Hashem wants it, and if we even appear to approve of a sin, we’re creating falsehood.
The Truth of the Matter
It occurred to me that using the truth like this newspaper did is just as false as lying outright. Even if a moment later you’ll realize they tricked you, they intended to make you think one thing when another is true. It is like giving someone bad advice. He doesn’t have the full knowledge and perspective, so he asks for your help. If you advise him based on YOUR need, as did this newspaper looking for readers, that is considered placing a stumbling block before the blind.
I felt cheated and taken advantage of by this newspaper, and I certainly don’t harbor any warm feelings for the writers and editors. This is the result of their taking advantage of my trust and ignoring my feelings.
Hashem entrusts us with our lives, our health, the ability to do things. What do we do with that? Do we appreciate it and use what He gives us for good? Or do we twist the truth and turn things around for our own purposes, regardless of the consequences?
I think it’s a good idea to take a long, hard look at ourselves and ask the tough questions. Then carefully answer them as honestly as we can.
By Rabbi Jonathan Gewirtz
Rabbi Gewirtz (Operation Inspiration) welcomes comments and feedback. Write to him at info@JewishSpeechWriter.com to share your thoughts. You never know when you may be the lamp that enlightens someone else.
