The Jews Complained Despite Their Blessings
In this week’s Torah reading, as the Jews traveled through the desert on their way to the Land of Israel, they started to complain about their source of nutrition (Bamidbar 11:4).
It is not to say that they went hungry in the desert. They had plenty of manna delivered to them daily from the sky. Yet, this was not good enough for them. They desired meat, and they reminisced about the various types of foods they enjoyed in Egypt. When God heard the complaints of the Jews in the desert, He was most displeased with their conduct. The verses further describe how wonderful the manna was. It was delicious and had a most appealing presentation – meaning to say, “Look at what they are complaining about!”
Anyone reading this section finds himself bewildered. How could they possibly be missing the foods they were accustomed to in Egypt to the point of expressing frustration? In Egypt they suffered tremendously in the hands of the cruel Egyptians. They were enslaved with inhuman labor and tortured. Now they were free with all their needs provided to them on a silver platter, and all they can do is complain that the food is not as good as it was in Egypt?
Human Nature Tends to Focus on What’s Missing
The truth of the matter is, as Rabbi Moshe Rabinowitz points out, we are the same way. He gives the following scenario as a typical example:
A man comes home after a long day, and as soon as he enters the house he is greeted with chaos. One child is crying, the others are fighting and the place looks like a wreck. Instead of being greeted warmly by his wife with piping hot food, she collapses on the couch and asks him to take over.
The husband is upset that his wife failed to keep the house in order and have things run on schedule. In the past, he offered his wife to get help to ensure their home functions smoothly, but instead she pushed it off, and now he is experiencing the results. His evening is ruined, and the rest of the family gets affected by his mood as well.
Perhaps he is correct that his wife was negligent in the way she ran the house, but does that justify the sour atmosphere generated by the husband? This man is surrounded with blessings. He has a house to live in, health, a good wife, children and plenty of food, yet all he can think about is the unpleasant greeting he received?! Is this a reason to lash out and get into a rotten mood, spoiling everyone else’s frame of mind?!
Why Gratitude Doesn’t Come Naturally
This is human nature. No matter how much good we have, we tend to forget about everything and focus on the most minor details in our lives which are less than perfect.
A Powerful Example of Choosing Gratitude
Yocheved, a young mother of four, suffered a stroke. Thankfully, she survived, but the road to recovery was very long. After a while, she got well enough to be transferred to a rehabilitation center. Despite her progress, she was still unable to perform many of the basic tasks we do without thinking.
Even after she was transitioned to living at home, her mobility was limited, and she had to rely heavily on the assistance of others. As she contemplated her situation, she realized that she had a lot to complain about.
But she would not allow herself to fall into a depressing state of self-pity. Instead, she decided she was going to focus on all the blessings that she did have. She focused on the sheer joy of being alive. She decided that she would appreciate all the things she was able to do. Instead of complaining, she practiced having gratitude, which infused her with energy to overcome her difficulties.
Focusing on Blessings Instead of Complaints
We all suffer from this trait to some extent. When something doesn’t go our way, our natural tendency is to dwell on our disappointment and have it overshadow all the other blessings we have to delight in. We must realize that doing so stems from a lack of gratitude.
Neglecting to focus on the good that we have because of some relatively insignificant factor is a sign of being ungrateful to God for all the good He has showered upon us. We don’t want God to look at us and say, “You are complaining?! Look at all the good I gave you!”
Whenever something doesn’t go our way and we begin to dive into feelings of dissatisfaction, it is our responsibility to make a conscious effort to pull ourselves out and focus on the positive aspects of our lives. Once we manage to do so, we will see for ourselves how ludicrous it really is to spoil our frame of mind over a relatively petty matter.
By Rabbi Yitzchok Aryeh Strimber
